Every woman's life is a fairy tale written by God's fingers.

         Today I took my last test for this semester and feel like a new woman. :) Today is my only day off for a while so Im doing laundry, cleaning, all that jazz but I thought I would pause to do another blog (now that my life isnt consumed with finals). Being the only one in the house, I'm blaring Bob Marley and Joe Purdy way too loud so maybe thats why Im feeling inspired. :)
         Anyway, in 10 days I get to go see my man.  I thought it would be easier than it has been to be away from him.  Its crazy how someone can become so important to you so fast.. even crazier how I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is real.  I would endure years of this if I had to, just to be with him.  I never thought I could meet a man with such depth, intelligence, intellect, heart, compassion, personality, ambition, truth, humor, quirks (like me lol)... I could go on for hours. 
         My mom always told me that she and my dad have been praying for me to find the man of my dreams since I was still in the crib.  Even at a young age, when I really didnt completely understand romance, they were explaining to me how there is a man out there that God has destined me to be with.  One of Mom's biggest fears was that I would fall into the same troubles she fell into when she was searching for my dad.  She really had bad luck with men.. and by bad luck I mean abuse.  Then my dad came along and was who she needed all along.  He started taking me on dates when I turned 13, maybe earlier than that, to show me "how a man should treat me."  Really cute, lol.  Needless to say, finding someone who filled the fairytale image I was raised to believe in seemed like... well... a fairytale.  Although every girl should believe there is a man out there for them that will.. for lack of a better, less cliche phrase.. complete them, life gets you down and somewhere along the road you stop believing in "the one" and start settling for "the one that will do."  Hence my last blog. lol
         After my last relationship, my mom sat me down and told me she knew the next one I fell in love with would be the one.  Mother's intuition, I assume.  I thought she was crazy, lol, to be honest. (sorry Ma I love you) Immediately following Mom's statement, Dad informed me that I didnt have to hurry to find anyone though. :) Sorry Dad. It's not that I hurried, or that I was even looking.  You really cant plan this stuff.  I never dreamed that I could fall so madly for someone who lived 2000 miles away.  Especially since I havent lived more than 20 miles away from where I grew up my whole life. :)  But here we are, and I wouldnt change a thing. 
          Treston,  I have never been more moved by an individual in my life.  I never dreamed that being away from you would be as hard as it has been, either.  You are everything I have ever dreamed up, and gave up on.  Girls watch "chick flicks" to get the warm, fuzzy, giddy feelings I get from just thinking about the fact that I am yours. :) I know, cheesy, but I cant help it.  I cant wait to see you again.  I love you, those words have my life in them.

                                                     Thanks for listening,
                                                          HSB

opening act

        Upon entering my last year as an undergraduate, I made some changes in my life.  Change worth writing about, hence why I have started this up again.  I find myself thinking a lot about the fact that I should put my thoughts down in some sort of journal, because I'm nostalgic like that. :) I call last year the time when "I fell off the face of the earth for a while."  I hurt a lot of people who love me more than I deserve, and those of you who end up reading this... I will never be able to express how sorry I am.  I never thought I would be that girl-- the one who let a guy manipulate and beat down her character, and anything else he could get his hands on really-- but, let's face it, thats who I became. 

         It wasn't sudden, he was very strategic about his ways.  As mom so gracefully put it, I was "like a frog in a frying pan."  I didnt even know it was happening until I had lost myself and many people I never thought would walk away.  What is crazy is that about half way through it all I had made up my mind that I wanted out, before the proposal.  I was just too scared of him to end it, or say no.  I think the final straw, after most of my family had given up (which should have been motivation enough), was when my best friend gave up.  We had been through so much together, much more than typical friends go through, and even she had had enough of it. About three weeks later I told him I was done. 

         I say all of that to say this, you really have no idea just how miserable you are until you decide to be happy, no matter what fear may be holding you back.  I can honestly say that I have never been happier than I am now, and not just because of him but because I made a decision to trust in God for my future.  I handed it over. Since then, God has given me little glimpses of what He has prepared for me for my future.  All I had to do was let go. I got my family back, my friends, and most importantly.. myself.  I had lost myself somehow, however cliche that sounds.  The only thing I gained from all of it was a huge lesson learned about myself and love and life, and a ton of weight. lol  Which, as a matter of fact, I have lost ALL of since then.  uh-thankyou. :) 

         I have however, since then, decided that I will be entering seminary school in the spring to get my masters in Biblical Counseling.  Also, I have found the most incredible, intellectual, adorable, DREAM guy and have fallen in love... madly. Treston Teague, you are what my mother has been praying for my entire life.  But there will be an entire blog about you soon.. if I continue I will start crying, as tears have already began to well up, and I have spin class in 15 minutes. :)

                                    Thanks for listening.  Love you.